Research and Writing

Anorexia and storytelling? Anorexia and metaphors? Anorexia and darkness?

Whilst writing about my experience with anorexia, I came across an article titled, ‘Listening in the dark: why we need stories of people living with severe and enduring anorexia nervosa’. It immediately grabbed my attention . Conti et al explored metaphors and recovery in an article published on 15/12/2016 in the Journal of Eating Disorders.

darkness and light

Continue reading

Reflections of an Ex-Anorexic: Beauty

Making sense of the struggle has unearthed many questions. The cycle of body image, perfection, calorie counting… had to lead some where. Beauty. The well-worn path meandered, looping carelessly back to the past and  stretching outdated values into the future.

Beauty, what is it? What happens in the mind of a person with anorexia? Is their perception of beauty different? Can the insidious web of the disease keep the sufferer trapped, centred on a fixed idea? How did the idea of beauty arise? What did that mean to me?

Charles-Angels-Jaclyn-Smitt-Farrah-Fawcett-Majors-Kate-Jackson

Continue reading

Puppy Sitting: Time to Think

 

This morning I sat down with one of those bitty lists, the kind that grow out of being away. I arrived back home, here down south to Narnia yesterday afternoon.  It was cold.

I’d left my warm second home, my daughter, her partner and my grand-pup. The dog knew something was going on when I lugged the case onto the bed and unpacked to repack it. His big brown eyes nearly made me cry. Pets can really give you a guilt trip.

A_Brindle_French_Bulldog

Continue reading

Antagonising Antagonist

The antagonist, the adversary of the hero is giving me grief. And so it should, as I am the protagonist in my memoir. A vicious circle, the chicken or the egg or the egg or the chicken has me chasing my literary tail.

Anorexia

                                               Adolescence                     Acceptance

                                  Marginalisation                                             Prejudice

                                                   Fashion                              Beauty

Power

chicken_or_egg_by_nisargam-d3abh2v

Continue reading

Eating the Elephant: Book Plan

Question: ‘How do you eat an elephant?’

Answer: ‘One bite at a time.’

New projects can be like this. Huge, Grey and Shadowy,

the illusion of being in a mist. Mulling around in that confused head space is

COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.

I am embarking on a new project, that leap into the unknown that I alluded to in last week’s blog. A new book. A new challenge. Methodical by nature, I find structure keeps me on track. Shamelessly, I admit that I like lists. They provide a point of reference and also reinforce achievement.

elephant

Continue reading

Courage and the Fool

This week passed by so quickly, I thought I might have dreamt it. My reality markers confirmed that I’d lived it: a whirlwind week recorded in my iPhone diary.

It’s been good. After silently working on my dreams and aspirations, I almost gave up, the struggle within wearing me out. Truth didn’t equal reality. Stuck and uncertain, dark glasses blinded me. Time to stop fighting .

 Fool Continue reading