ED and Christmas and 2018

Thank you for reading my blog. From my heart to yours, I wish you inner peace at Christmas. May the festive season fill our hearts with happiness and generosity. I hope to be gracious especially to those I find difficult and rekindle the optimism I’d allowed to pale this year.

I’ve been writing. I’ve re-entered my profession. To date, I’ve decided to own my ED and seek resolution by digging deep into its roots. I’m grateful interested in my blog. It is as haphazard, as the process of learning self compassion, acceptance and love. I’m being honest and sharing the process with you.

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full pelt to the finish line


what a year

a dose of salts, to be sure

Christmas sprinted for the finish line

it’s here, almost

am I ready?

writing, as I do

a life in review

making sense of the madness 

within and without

the inner critic vies for space

time to look at her

am I ready?

I caved 

the baskets too full

but it’s Christmas and I seek joy

grief is gone but depression lurks

it wants to play

I say: no

it will fight 

am I ready ?

I watch the children

entranced by fake candles, gift wrap

and promises

I wonder about all the broken promises

mainly to myself

time to own it

am I ready?

I’m on the couch

 a list on my knee, 22/12/2018

gifts under the tree

I’m thinking of tweeting the traditions

just a bit

challenges bring me joy

I am ready to change.

I wrote this piece aware that many of us struggle with Christmas. Christmas can be complicated, a massive juggling act of food, family and finances. Affiliations and obligations often clash. It should be joyous but often we run out of steam towards the end of the year but load our carts with endless comparisons and ‘should’s,’ of the festive season. For someone with and ED the sheer volume of food kills any appetite and the concerned look of family and friends scanning your plate, pushes coping to the max.

Christmas is about joy and hope. I encourage you to spend time with people who love and support you. Seek the joy within. Touch it. Remember it and give that gift back to yourself this festive season. Refuel your well.

This is not the time of year to go it alone. If you need help, make that call:

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