Familiar? Should be writing …
Staring at the screen,
looking for distractions,
I’m getting them, too.That’s what happens when you text friends. Sometimes they just want to chat. My fingers are drunk, they are typing words that don’t exist: not in any language.
My inner critic says, not today. I ignore her.
I had built a dream, a house by the beach which I tended with love for my family and friends. Everyone grew up. It happens. Change came. I acted placing the house on the market, I felt ready. Waiting for a sale, I came to another decision: to rent it out.
So I’d unwittingly purchased a ticket to my past.
Dust covered the memories. My parent’s things had hidden, finding their niche. I hadn’t touched them for a while. It became necessary to go there, pack and de-clutter. How would I manage? Where was I with all of this?
I ate the elephant. Maybe I should say I ate the whale, we were at the beach! Being kind to myself, I sat with the tricky feelings and allowed the tears to trickle. Sometimes, I walked in circles and watched myself doing it. Kind of surreal. I ate cake. But I made it through.
It’s a metaphor for a writers lot, especially if you have chosen memoir writing. If it is your story, you have to go there, to those doors you’d closed, under the shroud of the Ivy of time so you could pretend it never happened.
It is about facing the past looking at it, loosening its grip and moving on. I see this as emotional de-cluttering. All de-cluttering has a beneficial flow on effect. It is part of the inter-connectedness of life. If you are stuck: try to move something on. It might be old out of date items in your pantry, your wardrobe or your bathroom vanity. I think we get stuck when there is too much baggage around us. It impedes the flow.
To make room for something new to enter, something old and often outworn has to go.
At the moment I am writing well, finally having nailed a structure. My term of writing classes has been invaluable. Moving through my memories, I feel optimistic. I am hoping the words will flow. Now back to the final bit of de-cluttering.
kindly share any ideas you have on this topic. I’d love to hear your thoughts.