A Moment of Insight

My computer DiEd. I tried to breathe life into it,

asystole ________________________

‘Let’s get you a new computer. How long have you had that thing anyway?’ Inwardly groaning, I jumped into the car. A new challenge loomed, setting up a new computer… passwords… resetting passwords…moving files… Arghhh………………………………………..

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The very next day, I woke early. A thought, unearthed by the recent slumber demanded attention.                            ‘What are you going to do with those left over hard copies of Schicksal?’

I rolled over hoping sleep would save me.

It persisted, not getting louder just not going away.

Coffee in hand, I looked out at the sunshine. The answer would come. Just yesterday, when moving my emails across , I rationalised my books address. Wow, I had really done a lot of work on this:

  • approaching libraries
    • organising author talks
      • approaching bookshops
    • approaching Kmart, Big W and Target
  • contact with regional newspapers

Sometimes, I’d been lucky but ‘no,’ out weighed ‘YES.’ No, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, yes… As time went on the space between yes & yes grew >>>>>>>>>>>>>>longer. Maybe I just ran out of puff.

I sat with myself and my perceived failure. It made me look at why I left my comfort zone to write from the heart.Why had I chosen this?

Real Reasons                                                                                Crazy Reasons

I loved to write                                                                            I wanted to be famous

I felt I had something to say                                                  Number one best seller

I wanted to help people                                                           I’d like to make a decent income

Money was not my number one priority                            I’d hear the word ‘yes’

I believed in myself                                                                   My book could be a film

The books sat in the cupboard in the study. No one could read them in there could they? Then it came a crazy thought which liberated me from the crazy illusion keeping me stuck.

‘Move them on.’

I pulled the boxes out and began to plan, a road trip, Victoria, SA, NSW and SE Qld. I’d sign the books and drop them off along the way. Usually I donate to charity each Christmas but this year I’d give books. Charities could sell brand new signed copies of my book and use the money for their community work.

I set Schicksal free, sending my writing out into the communities along our east coast. Each time I signed a book I felt empowered, imagining the person who would receive it, read it and hand it on. I remembered why I had chosen to write:

TO SHARE MY STORY.

geese      

 

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