I woke early; the cuckoo clock told me it was half past something. Coddled in the warmth of my bed, I wondered half past what. The night outside black and windy gave no clue.
I wondered would I go back to sleep or hear the clock chime the upcoming hour?
My wondering grew, engaging me in the senseless thought that lies between awake and asleep.
I wondered what to blog about today. Would the quiet of the early hours plant the seed of inspiration? Would the warmth of the morning shower rinse away the encasing tension and allow the seed to sprout?
It was three o’clock and the wind outside whipped my vagrant thoughts along ahead of me. I wondered what the week would be like. Finally after thirty-seven years I planned to retire.
Last time my plans went askew but life seemed more settled now. I mulled the words non-practicing around in my head and tried them on. They felt good. What a relief. I wondered about my writing. My head threatened to take over robbing me of my sleep.
Maybe I should go to the loo again? Sometimes pressing the restart button works wonders. I gave it another go .
Back in bed, I put my hand on my heart and concentrated on gathering my thoughts. The clock chimed four. Already an hour had passed, nothing achieved. My philosophical side wanted to discuss change and its ramifications.
I told it no but would it listen?
So snuggled under the covers, I let it happen, the chaos and disordered thoughts. They took me with them on a whim to places unknown and situations improbable. Among the madness I rose above it at times, just a little, enough to see that the anxiety didn’t make sense.
The glimmer passed through my consciousness like a fleeting rainbow after a spring storm. I woke relieved to see the light of day outside. The impression from above remained fresh in my mind. It didn’t make sense to worry.
Over my morning coffee I planned to have an easy day, loose and non-structured. I assumed I would waste my time but looking back, I achieved a great deal today and feel good about it all.
Maybe its time to change?