Assuming the Role, Writer

What do you want to be when you grow up?”

 

Small as a child,

What can I be?

I see all your questions looking at me.

In my mock hospital,

I manage their ills.

Nursing them tenderly, making them well.

life and partings

Changes, life and partings

My desire to fulfill

this childhood dream carried me into the medical world; the decision not conscious or deliberate on my part. Following in my mother’s footsteps, I nursed the broken, rehabilitating them as far as we could go.

I loved it. Every day I prepared and entering the hospital doors, I felt at home. One day well into my career a voice said, “I don’t want to be a physio anymore.”

I looked around me, surely someone else created these words. No one stood with me. In my mind, I asked again, “What did you say?”

Again as clear as day, the answer came, “I don’t want to be a physio anymore.”

The world shook under my feet. That which had given me joy, status, and financial stability seemed threatened. Always a passionate clinician, I struggled with this new reality. It didn’t seem right to continue without heart. So I took a break.

I had already begun writing Schicksal. My soul cried out to me. Be a writer it said.

Again as a small as a child,

What can I be?

I see all my questions looking at me.

I want to write stories

I’d like to write books.

To share my experiences finding my voice.

So I decided to be an author. As time passed I found my dreams and my realities’ didn’t quite match up.  Colleagues kept telling me to come back to the fraternity. My talents were being wasted they said.

After a time I resumed my professional life, finding again the joy and fulfillment that had briefly eluded me. But now I was an author giving some time wholeheartedly to my physiotherapy.

Reflecting, I realize I was being shaped, sculpted from a thick lump of clay. Choices at my feet I could decide how and what I wanted to be. Instagram became an avenue to share my world through photos, Twitter a place where I could share my humor and my blog a place to talk about Schicksal and writing.

 

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