“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Small as a child,
What can I be?
I see all your questions looking at me.
In my mock hospital,
I manage their ills.
Nursing them tenderly, making them well.
My desire to fulfill
this childhood dream carried me into the medical world; the decision not conscious or deliberate on my part. Following in my mother’s footsteps, I nursed the broken, rehabilitating them as far as we could go.
I loved it. Every day I prepared and entering the hospital doors, I felt at home. One day well into my career a voice said, “I don’t want to be a physio anymore.”
I looked around me, surely someone else created these words. No one stood with me. In my mind, I asked again, “What did you say?”
Again as clear as day, the answer came, “I don’t want to be a physio anymore.”
The world shook under my feet. That which had given me joy, status, and financial stability seemed threatened. Always a passionate clinician, I struggled with this new reality. It didn’t seem right to continue without heart. So I took a break.
I had already begun writing Schicksal. My soul cried out to me. Be a writer it said.
Again as a small as a child,
What can I be?
I see all my questions looking at me.
I want to write stories
I’d like to write books.
To share my experiences finding my voice.
So I decided to be an author. As time passed I found my dreams and my realities’ didn’t quite match up. Colleagues kept telling me to come back to the fraternity. My talents were being wasted they said.
After a time I resumed my professional life, finding again the joy and fulfillment that had briefly eluded me. But now I was an author giving some time wholeheartedly to my physiotherapy.
Reflecting, I realize I was being shaped, sculpted from a thick lump of clay. Choices at my feet I could decide how and what I wanted to be. Instagram became an avenue to share my world through photos, Twitter a place where I could share my humor and my blog a place to talk about Schicksal and writing.