Adult Orphan, Why?

Last time,I shared with you the impact of becoming an adult orphan hoping that any one reading my post would gain a deeper understanding of this situation. It drove me to write Schicksal. I feel that everything in our lives comes to us for a reason, like the seasons experiences wash in and out.

Each of us has a life and a purpose in that life. Most people are drawn to their purpose by an interest in a field. It might be sharing knowledge by teaching, upholding the law within the judicial system, caring for the sick  via nursing etc. Most of the time the process is unconscious, we just go there.

That age old rhetorical question refuses to go away. Why I am here?

We live in a frantic world and with the advent of new technology we can catch up with world events, friends and foes via social media, an inexhaustible stream of information; totally in the now. Even when we find ourselves alone are we? Possibly not, the TV is on, the phone is within reach and our minds lead us through Dante’s Inferno with an incessant stream of chatter.

Man lies to himself a lot. G. I. Gurdjieff

Alone. One of my teachers once told me that we are all propped up by crutches in order to stand up in life. Our crutches include our parents, children, partners, jobs, and teachers. As we mature the crutches are at times kicked out from under us, leaving us wobbly in the knees. Is life issuing an oblique invitation?

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart.  Carl Jung

The adult orphan situation invited me to explore my dependence on an external locus to supply love, security and a place to be. I had to honestly look inside, Pandora ’s Box proved to be darker and deceptively larger than I imagined. Now what would I do with this new found information? The short falls, what needed to be done?

No need for complicated philosophy, my brain and my heart are my temples. The philosophy is kindness. Dalai Lama

Did anything need to be done? The logical mind screamed, “Yes fix it!” How? What is ‘it’? Is ‘it’ me?

Things hotted up, not accepting a part of me lead to division, division to fragmentation and fragmentation to depression. This wasn’t going anywhere. It came back to one point, self –love giving myself the patient acceptance that I gave my children.

I had to learn to be alone with me and like it.

Accept yourself, love yourself,

Worship yourself, celebrate yourself. Osho

2 thoughts on “Adult Orphan, Why?

  1. Thank you so much for this good and healing post. I am an adult orphan, though my parents are still alive. They can’t accept me since I abandoned the faith they raised me with. It breaks my heart and at times utterly crippled me, but, like you, I’ve found healing in loving myself and loving the new family I’ve adopted to myself. Thank you for such good reminders. xo


    • Thank you for writing to me. Never give up the dark moments in our lives just test our resilience to go through and find the good that is there awaiting us. Compassion is the best way. I too have lost relationships but just the other day a very close friend reminded me that sometimes things end because we have gained all we can from that situation. Keep moving forward and it will all turn out for the best.


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